


burning up again

by peachfuzz (johniaurens)



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Morgan POV, Pining, vague references to csa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 01:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6174748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johniaurens/pseuds/peachfuzz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spencer is gawky and awkward and always seems like he wants to curl himself into a tiny ball and disappear, but at the same time there's a hungry spark in his eyes and Derek isn't sure what to think about it, what to think about <i>him</i>, and every time he looks at Derek the bottom of his stomach drops and his mouth goes dry and God, they <i>work together</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	burning up again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [doriantrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doriantrash/gifts).



> idk this kind of text is what i do best so get a load of these nerds

The first time Derek gets a crush on another boy he's in college.

Jake is in his chemistry class, all confident energy and defined jawline and pretty eyes, and Derek suddenly finds himself unable to focus on his work, staring at the back of the boy's head all class instead. Needless to say, his grades suffer tremendously.  
They fuck in the supply closet and Derek doesn't cry, somehow, but Jake must have noticed that something was off about the situation because after that they don't talk. Derek swallows his feelings and tells himself that it's too soon. Too soon _after_. Too soon. The guilt that follows doesn't leave him alone for months.

The second boy he crushes on is nothing like Jake.

Spencer is gawky and awkward and always seems like he wants to curl himself into a tiny ball and disappear, but at the same time there's a hungry spark in his eyes and Derek isn't sure what to think about it, what to think about _him,_ and every time he looks at Derek the bottom of his stomach drops and his mouth goes dry and God, they _work_ together.

It's weird, how easy it is. Morgan has always been fast to fall but with Spencer everything feels like a sucker punch. Like honey. Sweet and thick. Sticky. His mind is so sticky, somehow. And it doesn't make much sense, he guesses, but it's so different from the head-over-handlebars bicycle crash way he felt about Jake. With Reid, it's everything.

It's just – Derek has always liked pretty things and Spencer is the prettiest thing he's ever laid his eyes on. The smartest, snarkiest smart-ass son of a bitch he's ever met. When he's close enough Derek swears that he can hear his nervous energy cracking like static and wonders if touching him would feel like touching electric current, and then he shakes his head and fights the urge to groan out loud. He wants to put his hands into Spencer's hair. He wants to trace the line of his cheekbone.

Unfortunately, though, as it is, he can barely look him in the eye without wanting to turn his face away. Besides, Reid isn't interested in him.

Morgan channels all this extra energy into his work and tries his hardest to ignore these _feelings_. This _silly crush_. This isn't college. This is his _caree_ r and he cannot have any distractions. Especially when Spencer seems like being alone with Derek is the last thing he wants to do. Granted, he seems to be uncomfortable with being left alone with every member of the team, but Morgan would be lying if he said it didn't still hurt.

He also starts calling Spencer _kid_ in an effort to change his affection into a sibling-like love. It works briefly, sort of. And then it sort of just becomes another pet name. Like, say, honey. Actually, it feels even worse, somehow, and then suddenly he's calling him _pretty boy_ of all things, God, could he be _any_ more obvious? But somehow Spencer doesn't notice. Or he pretends not to notice. Either way, Derek's grateful. It makes it easier to pretend that he's not _falling_ for Spencer.

Okay, maybe, possibly, at some point this _crush_ evolved into a full blown falling in love thing and Derek is sort of unraveling and spiraling out of control and also, when will he just get _over_ this? Because it doesn't seem to be going too well as it stands.

Spencer tells him about his nightmares and he says “maybe I’m not the best person to talk about this” and Spencer just keeps staring, looking so calculating, analytical, desperate for _something_ , and lord, Derek wants to give him whatever he needs but he can't because he's pretty sure that if he lets himself look at him for even one more minute he'll do something terrible like kiss him or start shaking or cry, and maybe calling him selfish wouldn't be that inaccurate but he _physically_ cannot do it, and when Elle comes to interrupt them Derek could _kiss_ her.  
Later, with the unsub on the ground and Spencer half underneath him on the wet grass Derek lets out a shuddering breath and looks at the boy, gangly and drowning in his jacket, hair on his face and frame still stiff with adrenaline, and he swears that he'll do _something_ about _the situation_.

 

* * *

 

He does not do anything about the situation. After a long week at the office Hotch invites the team to watch a movie in his office. Gideon declines politely, and after the second movie Garcia and Elle have already left. About halfway through the third movie (Spencer's pick) JJ leaves for the bathroom and Hotch goes downstairs for more coffee. Both insist that they don't pause the movie. Morgan fights a chuckle.

They've been alone for two minutes when Spencer starts speaking.

He's rambling, really, something about the movie that's still playing on the dusty TV in the corner of Hotch's office, and Morgan can barely see it from where he's sitting, really, but it's not like he cares about the movie anyway. He's been more interested in the way the soft yellow glow of Hotch's desk lamp is softening the sharp shadows on Spencer's face and how much he wants to intertwine his fingers with Spencer's. There's a brief pause. Then Reid speaks again, softer this time, more intimate.

“Are you okay?”, he asks, now facing fully facing Derek, knees tucked underneath his chin and arms wrapped around his legs. “You've been weird all day”. Derek laughs awkwardly.  
“I'm okay”, he says, “why would you say that?”.  
“Don't be silly”, Spencer says, dismissively, “Something's up with you. What is it?”. He's a damn good profiler, sharp as a blade and quicker to connect emotions with signs than anyone Derek's ever seen. It kind of sucks to be the one profiled by him, though.  
“Nothing's up with me”, Derek says, defensively. He pointedly crosses his arms and forces the muscles of his face to relax. It results in his mouth twitching. He can't stop his hands from shaking.  
“Your hands are shaking”, Reid observes immediately. “Your pupils are _huge_. You keep licking your lips and looking around the room. You won't make eye contact with me. Something's not right. It's almost as if you're threatened. That doesn't make any sense, though. But that must be it”, his eyebrows knit together, “unless -”, pause. Pause. Pause. “Unless you're attracted to me”, he mumbles out, almost completely to himself. Then, after a beat, louder, “you're attracted to me”.  
“Kid, I can explain”, he starts, knowing full well that there's no way to deny it, but desperate to fix the situation somehow. He knows that Reid doesn't feel the same way about him. Actually, he's pretty sure that Reid's completely straight. Or maybe totally asexual. Aromantic. Both? But then something something in Spencer's expression changes and Derek stops talking mid-sentence.  
“Shut up”, Spencer breathes out, and it's kind of silly since Derek had already done just that almost a full second earlier, but Spencer's voice is so warm and he's smiling now, oh --- he's moving closer, that's --- oh. They're kissing now.

Spencer has the prettiest eyes Derek has ever seen and when he pulls back from the kiss they're darker than he's ever seen them, only half open, and he knows that the same smile that's pulling Reid's face into a silly lopsided grin is making his own mouth curl and damn, he wants to punch something or scream into a pillow or do a _god damn cartwheel_.

But instead he puts both of his hands into Reid's hair like he'd wanted to for so long, and Reid whimpers, barely audibly, and surges forward again and this time their teeth clatter and Morgan laughs into it, shaky and nervous, and he can't stop his breath from trembling, and his chest feels so tight, like he can't get enough air into his lungs, like he's been punched in the stomach and left on the side of a highway, but Reid, god bless his heart, he's just as nervous as Morgan is, puts his hands on Morgan's shoulders and eases him into it, forces him to breathe.

Hotch and JJ come into the room fifteen minutes later and find them sitting together on the couch, barely an inch between their bodies. They're both still smiling, and Reid is not even pretending to be watching the movie anymore, stealing glances at Derek every chance he gets, smiling a little wider when they make eye contact. Hotch and JJ glance at each other, smile.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WOULDNT /END/ IM SORRY


End file.
